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April 11, 2007
I recently read an article in the Times about people who were rejected by romantic prospects because of their apartments. One guy had a stuffed baby seal and action figures, another guy had ugly sheets on his bed. One man said he didn't "trust [his date's] judgment" when he saw Klimt's The Kiss on her bedroom wall.

After I finished grimacing at the horrifying shallowness, I decided to evaluate my own apartment.

There is a strange spiky-haired potato with big pink lips sitting on the computer monitor. He will scare away the shallow judgmental women. I love that potato.