February 21, 2007
The speed skater sliced across the ice, tripping the other racers and gliding into the finish line. The networks and the bloggers caught him yawning while he mumbled the national anthem. He flicked off avid fans as he marched up to his limousine. He yelled at his chauffer to return him to his hotel. Two hookers waited for him in his bed. He threw them out and shot up. He passed out dead in his own vomit. Sometimes, doing everything for your Uncle Dougie back in the good old US of A is not all itís crapped up to be.