December 21, 2004
Everything's okay now. I don't know what came over me. I love that boy and I have to be content with that and not always worry about the future. It's so hard to do that, so much harder than it sounds as I'm sure you know. It's so hard to actually live, mentally, in the present. 99% of the time my mind is either reflecting back on past embarrassments or worrying about something in the future. I'm never able to "live in the moment", as they say. And I don't think it's really something you can train yourself to do.