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September 11, 2004
Two years ago, Yolanda's parents started forbidding use of the letter "R". When she asked why, they said it was against something they called their new "eligion".

"What's eligion?" Yolanda asked.

"Don't ask questions. Just accept it," her mom said. Despite her mom's conversion two years ago, it still takes her five minutes to compose simple sentences. One slipped "R" and she'll be in confession for days.

Yolanda is sad, because this means she never gets to enjoy her favorite dish. If one more waiter laughs when he sets a bowl of ice and beans before her, she'll MUDE him!