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September 9, 2004
Porkena is sick of people assuming she's a pig. When she was little, it was fun when she'd meet someone new and that person would say, "That's funny, you don't LOOK like a pig!" Then she'd snort. And grunt, "Oink!" But now she's 25, out of grad school, and it's not cute anymore.

So when she enters the office of Mr. Phelps, a prospective employer, and the first thing he says is, "Oh, I was hoping you'd be a pig," she loses patience. She hoists up her skirt, turns around, and says, "I am! Pork me!"

And gets the job!