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September 7, 2004
She swears Josh Duhamel is looking directly at her as she crosses the street and approaches Gap. She turns her gaze from his huge two-dimensional likeness and looks at me impatiently.

"Look, Marina. His eyes. Tell me he's not looking at me!"

I look up at the plate glass window. Josh Duhamel is staring at me.

"He's looking at ME now," I say. "Anyone can say he's looking directly their way. What the fuck?"

She tells me to go to hell. She enters the store, smiles into the cardboard eyes of her beloved, and spends $562.58 she does not have.