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June 3, 2004
Defending myself against supposed excuses, always trying to explain my motivation, wondering if you really believe me and sure that you're wondering the same thing unsure as to what to say because I'm terrified of angering you, terrified of saying the wrong thing and upsetting you not even able to make a joke without you getting the wrong impression walking on eggshells because I'm so fucking afraid I'll lose you afraid that my second chance will slip through my fingers because I wasn't paying attention because I said something stupid because I let down my guard for a little while