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May 19, 2004
Yesterday the Kingsbrigde station was closed because a kid had been stabbed in a fight. I spent the night terrified that it had been one of my favorite students, that I’d come to school the next day to find out that Rasheen had been killed, or that Christina was dead. Every time I see an ambulance and a crowd gathered around some fallen figure I have a hard time breathing, and terrible fantasies start running through my head – I see myself breaking down at the news, Maggie’s dead face, Yadera’s sobbing mother. Sometimes the terror nearly brings me to tears.