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May 15, 2004
There are times when I have been paralyzed by the horror of my future self, by the knowledge that my actions are not wholly my own, and that anything, anything is possible. I remember standing in the garage at the age of ten, holding a hammer and knowing, knowing that I could smash all the windows of my parents car, that my muscles could move and that the glass would shatter, equally terrified by the thoughts that I could act but would not do so and that my future self would act and I would be unable to stop myself.