April 16, 2004
It would be different if
- it hadn't been so goddamn good.
- she hadn't said she was in, promised she was in, totally and completely.
- I hadn't trusted in her completely.
- she hadn't told me that she knew she was in a pattern.
- she hadn't said 'Please hang in, I will not run'.
- she had faced her pattern instead of running.
- I didn't think she loved me when it ended.
- I didn't put everything I had into it.
- I hadn't had the best days of my life with her.
- I didn't still love her.
- I didn't have this stupid, willful heart.