April 1, 2004
It surely is beautiful, my favorite pistol, forty-four magnum, big as your arm, weighs nicely in my hand.
I held it today, thinking it over.
This makes twice recently, three times this past year, after long years not doing this.
Dysphoric mania is interesting.
I suppose it's a good thing I didn't cock it, put it in my mouth, things I did as a younger man, my faded youth.
If I mention it, my therapist will surely get all fussy again.
If I don't mention it, I'm giving the disease succor.
Consider - it's April first:   Is any of this true?