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April 1, 2004


It surely is beautiful, my favorite pistol, forty-four magnum, big as your arm, weighs nicely in my hand.

I held it today, thinking it over.

This makes twice recently, three times this past year, after long years not doing this.

Dysphoric mania is interesting.

I suppose it's a good thing I didn't cock it, put it in my mouth, things I did as a younger man, my faded youth.

If I mention it, my therapist will surely get all fussy again.

If I don't mention it, I'm giving the disease succor.

Consider - it's April first:   Is any of this true?