December 14, 2003
There's a reason why every photograph of Helene only shows her from the neck up. There's a reason her face is carefully made up and her hair expertly coifed and her smile so mocking. Like she has a secret you don't dare even ask about. If you did dare, though, she still wouldn't tell you that she does all of this because from the neck down, she's made entirely of pudding. And not the good kind of pudding, either. Not a name brand. Just some off-brand, poor-person pudding from her midwestern supermarket. Oh, and it's tapioca too. So no wonder!