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October 29, 2003
Apathy is working out quite well, I must say. But I'm running out of time. I'm not sure if I will make it. Where's the drive? Where's the motivation? I'm not up to par these days, but then again, was I ever?

The atmosphere is getting to me. I'm feeling out of touch, but give me a few minutes; I'll be fine. New Jersey and permanent marker. Mildew and yesterday's celery sticks. Moths sizzling on lightbulbs and the uncertainty of tomorrow.

I let it all out when no one is around. It's easier that way. No pain. No shame. Simple.