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August 6, 2003
"Temptation. Frustration. So bad it makes me cry." Not even blatant verbiage this time, just a single mention of the scenario. It sets me off, perhaps not as badly as last year, but more than I would like to admit. I again become a spirit on the threshold, poised to completely throw caution to the wind and see what happens, knowing rationally that the outcome will be unproductive at best, a painful disaster at worst. Having taken that chance, having proven myself vulnerable and acknowledged it to him, he does not take the next step, but retreats behind various excuses.