May 24, 2003
The guy who lives below me is hideous. I saw him for the first time about a month ago, in the vestibule getting his mail, and the first thing I thought was, "Oh man, that's one fucking ugly guy." His features were arranged poorly on the platter of his face, like a barely warmed-up leftover dinner of grayish meat loaf and instant mashed potatoes made runny by a spoonful of barely strained boiled peas. So now when I hear this inconsiderate dolt droning loudly at 3:00 a.m., I can picture the mishmash hideous face from which the voice spills. Lovely!