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May 23, 2003
In a moment of weakness, tired and wired from a long day followed by an evening OUT in the city, I call Spil from the train home. She doesn't answer, I get the impersonal answering machine and leave a message that is completely true and honest. She can't listen to it and not know the emotional devastation she is causing in my life by her unprovoked and inexplicable absence.

Wired still when I get home, but there is no one to call. I turn to the ever-persistant internet and the threads of an interestingly personal conversation. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.