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September 3, 2002

The road narrows; prayer a neccesity.

I did not meditate until damn near sundown today.

Operating on my own power.

I was ready to toss things out the window, burn my condo down, wanted to trade my soul for an old car and then drive the car into the lake.

I don't know why I fight it so; even when I am right in the middle of it, I know that I am suffering due to my refusal to submit to the disipline.

I tapped into the power; immediate peace, sense of well-being, of guidance and direction.

I am stubborn.