March 1, 2006
On the morning of March 5th, 1911, Marsha Quinn, of the New Canaan Quinns, awoke with a fright to find herself lying in a pool of cold sweat. The sweat was not her own, but had been carefully placed there by her maid, as was her custom, for Marsha Quinn herself lacked entirely the ability to perspire, due to an unfortunate childhood accident involving a wooden tetherball. Consequently, Martha Quinn required a constant phalanx of maids and other help to provide her each day with a bedful of human perspiration. She also employed two gentlemen to urinate into a basket.