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March 26, 2002
A few words can change your entire life, change entire contexts, plans, paths and histories. They can give hope or take it away entirely.

Three brief emails, sent in quick succession. That is his pattern, a disruptive one, yes, but not in an unacceptable sense of the word. He brings chaos to me, he always has, in ways well beyond the small stuff of sweaty palms or shallow breathing. This is chaos on a grand scale, night turned into day, the upheaval of one's well-ordered life.

His words are a simple truth, laid bare between us for the first time.