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October 29, 2019
Last entry, out of place. This month got out of hand.

I am so happy to be doing this again, because I am so not happy in my actual life. That's not true. I am neither happy nor sad. I am not depressed. I am not contented. I am not... anything. I just am. I just get on with shit and don't think about things like happiness. Happiness doesn't work, as a life goal. It's a drug, and if you chase it, you're chasing the dragon. So I go after peace. I need alcohol, and I need you. That's it.