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October 21, 2017
If you ever see me announcing on social media that I am "blessed", with or without a hashtag, you have my permission, if not my blessing, to hunt me down and eviscerate me with the sharp implement of your choosing, which you must first hold up to the sun so its blade (or hook?) glints appropriately, because you'll know it's not really me saying it and instead a ghastly, ghastly (yet gorgeous) alien who had taken over my body and does not deserve even one more breath and you must free the real me trapped inside my own skin shell.