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June 24, 2017
Every few years the newspaper calls up and wants to know how I'm doing. It's a slow news day and they run a "boy born in car wash: what's he doing now?" segment.

I tell them that despite the obvious disadvantages with which I entered this world, I am doing as well as can be expected, although not (of course) exactly thriving, not ever having reached (nor do I expect to reach) a stage of self-actualization, being, as I am, a victim of my parents' poor planning in the minutes before my birth. I try to keep it positive.