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June 23, 2017
Were you born in a car wash? Because I was.

Think about that one for a moment. It's bad enough coming out into the noisy world in a hospital, with its bright lights and beeping machines, but imagine coming out and feeling the cold and bitter air and then seeing suds and swirling brushes and jets of water that are somehow not touching you, because you don't understand how glass works yet, and it's dark and everyone in the car is half paying attention to the fact that a baby has come out and half enjoying the car wash experience.