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January 13, 2017
Mary's the prettiest girl in the office, gosh!

I saved up and bought her this Choco Crunch. I'm going to take it here into the third floor men's bathroom to go over the plan.

The plan is to unwrap the candy bar here in the bathroom, check.

Then I will take it to her desk and present it to her (she will remark upon how considerate I was to unwrap it first) and bite down with her beautiful sparkly teeth...

But I don't want to ruin her sparkly teeth... to sully them with cavities... stupid, stupid, augh, I am useless...