Morgan Flabbergast tells me he's the fastest kid on the block, whether it's running, biking, walking, pogo-sticking, or swimming.
"Big deal," I say. "What about eating hot dogs, doing the '12' multiplication table, drawing a perfect map of the United States on an Etch-a-Sketch, naming all the state capitals in order of population, shelving all books at the library in their correct Dewey Decimal System places, getting to the center of a Tootsie Pop, and spelling 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocious' backwards? I know I'm forgetting something."
"That you're a gayrod maybe?" he says.
"Oh! That you're the quickest wit," I say. "That's it."