January 13, 2016
Disillusioned. This is the one word that rings clear about my relationship with my sister. It connotes a feeling of being let down and yet liberated from the idealism I held for her. Lots of this status of hurt is self generated. If Sis had always been nasty to me, then I would have disliked her from our start together. But she used me. and she played me. She pretended to be a friend so she could rule me. I found out so late in life that I was a chump, a pawn. It still makes me angry; maybe forever.