It is now 1:30. This was the time and the day that I would've been taking Shana to her iodine radiation treatment at Hypurrcat, for which so many beautiful and lovely friends, Facebook and otherwise, had donated their hard-earned money. I am trying really hard not to punch holes in walls or smash my face into a brick wall or scream so loud that they'd hear it all the way in Timbuktwelve. For the most part I'm succeeding. I feel like for all I did, it still wasn't enough. One thing I do know is that 15-1/2 years sure wasn't.