March 11, 2015
Clarity is not comforting. I keep finding myself distracted these days with silly things like, looking online of tops or jeans to buy. Or, shopping for boxes of tile to redo my family room floor. Each time I catch myself, another thought comes to mind..."what are you trying to escape?' I know that if I just stayed still for half a day, disciplined, with no distractions, the feelings would well up in me and I would be overloaded in grief. That's why I keep moving, tantalizing myself will dreams or indulgences. At least I'm aware of what I'm doing.