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January 12, 2015
If you fucking call me at 2 a.m. through Facebook Messenger for a reason that doesn't include you being chased down an alleyway by a blood-thirsty, machete-wielding circus clown or doesn't include you telling me you just found a dog shivering on Broadway and he needs a warm home to go to NOW NOW NOW or you're not one of my closest friends locked out of your apartment, and not only say you're *not sorry* for waking me up but do it again 20 minutes later and request my "real" phone number, I'm pretty sure you don't deserve my acquaintance.