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January 2, 2015
“’Gentlemen!’ This was his salutation, you know? He had us there, we in our wool suits and leather seats, our hands to a man clasped on the wide mahogany table his great-great-grandfather had steamed over from the Orient, and he barked, ‘Gentlemen!’”

— “Yes?”

“The arrogant bastard. He—"

— “Excuse me.”

“Yes?”

— “Mahogany-veneer, surely.”

“I beg your pardon?”

— “You said his great-great-grandfather—"

“Yes?”

— “…From the Orient.”

“Yes?”

— “But those are Ikea legs.”

“What?”

— “I have dreamed that room, the conference room. I don’t mean to…”

“What are you suggesting?”

— “Mahogany-veneer, perhaps, as those are Ikea ‘Krille’ legs, $12.50 apiece, with casters."