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August 15, 2014
Rather than loll around thinking about how one day we'll all be dead, sometimes I consider other stuff. For example:

"Grit-eating shin": What you get when you fall off your bike and gravel embeds in your lower leg (to be removed by your mom with a wire brush). This is what happens when you wake up way too early on a weekend and lie in bed thinking about spoonerisms. Ahoy!

Thank you, Mr. David Duchovny, for making an appearance in my dreams. Please return any time you like, especially if it means there is no room for Kelly Ripa anymore.