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November 22, 2013
The human body has too many moving parts, specialized organs, fluids, and breakable, snappable structures.

That's why I'm going to upload my consciousness into one of those extra-tough playground balls. When you're over there getting a stomachache or stubbing your toe, I'll be rolling around like "doo-dee-doo, check me out, I'm a ball," and you'll all be wicked jealous. I would absolutely never stop talking about the benefits of being a sphere.

And when that ball gets kicked out to sea,
Look out your submarine and there I'll be.
I hope I choke a shark.

(not really)