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October 23, 2013
For Immediate Release: The Adele song "Someone Like You" has been banished from every venue on this or any other planet in which there is even the remotest possibility for karaoke. Regardless of whether a person is an adorable musical theater major with stars in his eyes, glitter in his hair, and a Cosmopolitan in his hand, a secretary who finds solace singing to herself in the shower, or even Adele herself, regardless of level of ability, the song is strictly forbidden. Violators are subject to lifetime in solitary confinement, where they are free to warble to their heart's content.