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October 9, 2013
Appearances were the ultimate concern of my family. Knowing the right, understated elegance to project confidence and assurance in a situation. Oh, the shopping, the preening, the make-up and god forbid, the pimple. Here is the undermining message that one learns in such a household: That your appearance supersedes you in importance. That showing up in the right clothes IS the testament to your belonging. That your role as an ornament in life is your strongest suit. By focusing on the garb, my parents didn't counsel about character issues like relationship building, apologies, trust, friendship. Such an impoverished upbringing.