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September 9, 2013
Today, in a high-speed collision, I rammed my hip into the corner of a desk. (Mondays!)

I write this not to complain, but to document the experience. Tomorrow I'm going to have a huge bruise there, and I'm going to say whaaaat is this?!?! because that's what always happens.

My mind is programmed to gravitate towards the improbable: A government van was testing the 'bruise ray' on me as I walked down the street (NOTE!: never even joke about this on the Internet, twelve people will write in and say ah, they got you too, we need to meet)