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May 23, 2013
I took a leisurely walk home from the gym this morning, four miles in 1-1/2 hours, without looking at my reflection once, not even in the plate glass of store windows. Just now I looked in the bathroom mirror and, at the sight of hair frizzy from humidity and skin shiny as well, exclaimed, "Oh my god! NOT CUTE at all! Not cute!"

I don't know what's worse: That I walked around thinking I was pretty damned cute while looking like hell or that I was smiling at people and they were thinking, "I think I just saw Howard Stern."