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February 7, 2013
PROPOSED ADDITIONAL 100W PERSONAE FOR 2013

Expedition 197 is under way as Commander Kevin Mittens and flight engineers Bruce Glover and Ray Palmwarm continue their stay until April 2034. The station’s newest trio began their mission when they docked their Red Bull RBE-06M spacecraft to the Pepsi module on Nov. 21.

— Mittens. An astronaut, yes, but only as part of an elaborate scheme to get away with murder.

— Glover. Devoted to the International Space Station project but fears the day he’s discovered to have cheated on his high school physics midterm.

— Palmwarm. Hates space and everything in it. Invisible.