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November 1, 2012
DEAR EXTREMELY REMOTE PARALLEL UNIVERSE ME, AGE 14:

Here are some things I wish I had known at your age. I hope this helps.

ó†Take care of your suction cups, and your suction cups will take care of you. Get plenty of iron, and practice grappling against the big rock near the bubbly place. Thatís what itís there for.

ó†You donít need to fertilize every egg pile you come across. Itís fun now, but in 30 years youíll wish youíd been more judicious. Avoid Tammyís egg piles altogether.

ó†Donít obsess about how pale your ink is. Itíll darken just fine.