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February 28, 2006
Gee. You're so unique. You're so free-spirited and quirky. You and your colorful funfunfun sneakers and wackykooky braids on either side of your head and look-at-me, happy snappy sunshine attitude. Wow. Your striped shirt, just a taaaad too short, affording us a peek-a-boo (whoopsie!) at your tumtum. Your goofy mugging at the camera as you romp and piorouette and frolick through a field of wildflowers. Oh, and is that a ... piercing? Ahhh, yes. It is. How delightful, on someone half your age. Maybe.

Too bad your forced, contrived adorability wore thin with your husband. Good luck in divorce court, dipshit.