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April 6, 2012
JOHN’S FAREWELL ADDRESS TO THE NATION, REVISED

Well, this is it. “The big farewell.” I give a speech, and you all stand there with your napkins and drinks in hand, some of you with reporter's notebooks.

I see a kid down there playing with one of our Mylar balloons. Mylar ain’t cheap, kid! Yeah, you. I see you. Fine, take that one balloon out into the hall. You’re distracting. Yeah. All the way. Out.

OK. So we’ve had a good run. You’ve been a fine electorate. I’ve certainly grown a lot in my time as —

— No! Just the one balloon!