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April 5, 2012
JOHN’S FAREWELL ADDRESS TO THE NATION, REVISED

History brings people together, right? And history breaks them apart.

And —

No. That’s awful.

History, my friends! That’s what we’re here to make. We’ve —

No. This is a farewell address. Not a history speech.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury…

— Ha! I always wanted to say that.

But seriously: Ladies and gentlemen, "The Boss,” Mr. Bruce Springsteen!

I’ve always wanted to say that too.

“You’re a fantastic audience.”

— No, Don, you pull it together! “Vice president” my ass. You should take a good look in the mirror, pal!

We're out of time? Already?

Adieu!