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March 7, 2012
Thanks, Tim. Good morning, everyone! We're honored to be here and demo for you our new Procrastinator 3000, engineered exclusively for the gorgeous new John Snyder, running the Cranky Pants quad core chip. 

And to help me show off this amazing new technology, I'm joined by our lead developer for not going to the gym, Garrett Ping—hello Garrett—who is standing by, he’s getting set up; and he's about to show us all why Procrastinator 3000, running on John Snyder and Cranky Pants quad, just blows away anything we’ve been able to bring you on previous John Snyders. 

Garrett?