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June 24, 2001
Please don't think I'm an asshole when I slip away, back into the bubble world. It's a fear mechanism, a way of protecting a sense of control over life, a notion of preserving things that matter when I feel they're decimated. Maybe it's a sorry excuse for social phobia, but there are some friends that have remained as others silted away. It's always terrifying when someone new comes into my life, the fear that they will disappear in (appropriate) frustration over what appears to be flaky behavior. I hope for friends that value their privacy and solitude as I do.