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June 16, 2001
I never studied hard in school (high, or college—synonymous), even though I hit dean's list. I wait, like my peers, for the fraud to be percepted. I want to be nothing, my goal is up in the air, I like what I like, what use is any of it, what have I read and what does it mean, why can't stories be only stories not allusions to other works. I write and I write, sometimes with the lights off and just the glow of the monitor. Up all night and never awake in time. I want that time back.