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February 6, 2012

CRITTERSBACK—Police Chief Sagamore “Joe” Brush Jr. said he would not investigate this reporter's discovery of a bleached paper cotton candy stick inside a trash barrel at July 2011’s Crittersback Fair, saying his department "lack[ed] the resources" to do so.

Crittersback's police budget for 2012 is $1.2 million, the highest in the County, up three percent from 2011. No other large-scale investigations are pending, all department capital equipment is in working order, and none of the department's 15 full-time, and four part-time, officers is slated for retirement, vacation or other leave, Brush confirmed lazily.