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February 5, 2012

CATTERSBY JUNCTION—Seven months after discovering a bleached paper cotton candy “stick” within a trash barrel at the exit of 2011’s Crittersback Fair, the Gazette still seeks to learn the identity of the stick’s owner.

According to Wilmington, Del.,-based Tootsie Sweetened, which would have sold the product along with an available menu of caramel apples and fruit-flavored crushed ice “cones,” such information remains proprietary.

“With respect to confection quality and customer privacy, Tootsie Sweetened remains the proud industry leader,” parroted Chad Royce, now 18, the fair’s cotton candy booth supervisor and an effeminate Crittersback High School senior.