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October 2, 2011
Why the hell is it taking this kid so long to find the "Polo" to his "Marco"? Why is he red-faced and sputtering, limbs flailing with all the desperation of a rubber-banded propeller of a toy airplane released in a bathtub? Why are his eyes screwed shut so tightly his blood threatens to spurt from his ears? Why doesn't he squint instead, and peek to see where the cutest girl is, and do his best frog-stroke in her direction, reaching out with a blind hand to grab a handful of eight-year-old tush? What kind of lame explorer is he, anyway?