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October 1, 2011
I tried to write about myself again, tried to tell the whole story. I got a few hundred words in, and my fingers froze. My brain locked up. My heart closed its eyes and huddled in a corner of my chest.

"Not this. Not this. No this." they begged. "Don't open this door again. Don't look at this memory. Don't think these thoughts."

It was almost as if I could feel a physical weight of sorrow settle on my shoulders and begin to seep into my bones. Such darkness I have.

What made the center of my soul this warped?