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September 15, 2011
I was given a six month vacation from memories. I didn't have to think about the things that happened in that place. I didn't have to worry that it was my fault. I didn't have to feel the ache of betrayal, of guilt, of simple hurt.

Vacation is over, the memories are back, and I'm trembling under the weight of knowing. Knowing that nothing about that was ok. Nothing about that was good. Nothing about that was...

But, god, I loved him. I did. And I'm afraid. I'm afraid I made him that way. I'm afraid I'll do it again.