Long years I've wanted to hack that out of my heart, that intense desire, more than lust, seeking … something.
I've fucked around plenty, guess I'm glad for that – better than nothing.
Even young, I knew it for hollow.
Sometimes married men are envious. Fools.
Unless they've settled into a bad or dead marriage, in which case they're fools regardless.
I could easy have settled. I've refused.
It takes jam.
Most won't do it. They won't be alone.
They say can't, but it's won't.
Time and again, I've watched love fall apart in my hands. The blackest joke I know.